by Jamey Vickery

Well, it was that time of year again. Retirement homes were emptied, graves were opened up, Geoff Kee was thawed from his cryogenic chamber, and those infirm, Heslop's Heroes once again managed to find 15 players able to limp out onto the field to face the upstart striplings of the U20 team in the classic Brampton RFC grudge match.

Old age versus youth. Experience versus enthusiasm, beauty versus beast… clearly this year's match had all the makings of a classic game. The Heroes were looking to recover from last year's narrow loss, in the last seconds of the match,  at the hands of the Under 20's callow youth.

The Heroes squad was led by Dack Heslop himself, recently returned from his storied running career to lace up the boots one last time. Despite Dack's obvious lack of fitness—he really should try to get some more running in… let's ask his wife to help—he still provides the inspirational leadership the old guys need.

Mike Babbie made a wise tactical decision not to play this year, realizing that his talents can be more helpful in coaching from the sideline. Of course, once he had decided on his starting line-up, he thought his talents could be even more useful in the bar… and then in his car… and he was never seen again.

The game started at furious pace, with some intense action on each side. The youthful Mike Sheppard, captaining the U20s, scored quickly with an 8-man pick off the scrum. He made the tally, breaking several tackles along the way. The Heroes complained vociferously to the referee (young Matt Worsell, who was showing his ageism, and his bias against the Heroes), saying that they weren't ready, and asking for a mulligan. After being firmly advised that this was not a golf game, the Heroes grumbled to themselves, and looked to regroup for the restart.  (Mike Sheppard, by the way, missed the drop-goal conversion—A clinic will be offered later this week under the capable tutelage of James Vickery, who, let the record show, hit his own drop goal from the 15m line—Sheppard has already signed up.)

At the restart, the Heroes quickly responded to even up the scoring with a try of their own. The score came from Old-guy-in-training Dave Jacks, who sidestepped a confused defense from his own scrum, and dashed in under the posts for the score.

Once the scoring had begun, it was end to end action. The old guys would tire a little, stop running for a few minutes, take a quick nap, and the U20s would utilize this lull to take in a quick try. The Heroes would then wake up, realize what had happened, re-energize themselves for two minutes (those little blue pills are handy for all sorts of things… or so I hear), and answer with their own try… then they would succumb again to their Alzheimer's and forget which way they were playing and what they were doing.

Some highlights from the first half included Geoff Kee, back to his old form after a two-year hiatus, with seven sucker punches, and five enthusiastic bootings delivered to the innocent youths, as they struggled to find their place in the world.

Jim Flynn, having given up his coaching job for this match, donned the player's mantle. He quickly recovered from a charge of questionable hands (it really WAS a beautiful pass), and sought to make a quick impact on the game. At one point, after receiving a perfect pass in the gap, from none other than the brilliant passer James Vickery (forgetting for a moment about the several… ahem many balls that he threw away), Flynn broke through the back line of the juniors and made a dash for the try line. With only the full back to beat, and with support players running on both sides of him desperately calling for the offload, 67 year old Flynn made the tactically suspect call of kicking the chip to the 18 year young fullback in front of him… Jim's memories of the event may  be clouded by his drugs to combat senility. Suffice it to say, he did not outrun the player, who was some 50 years his junior, who returned the ball impressively back down the field.

The youthful Ming Lai, playing from the scrum half position for the U20s, worked hard to keep his squad in the game, and moved the ball at pace. Unfortunately for him, the Heroes had bribed the referee to ignore the offside line, and Ming was punished with several questionable late and off-side tackles.

As the end of the first half approached, and the Heroes were trailing by two tries, the good guys tried desperately to get back in the game. Veteran Rob Kinnear, apparently, not  just a beer-drinking ladies' man, actually decided to play this game.  The best time to score, or so we hear, is right after you've been scored on, and the Juniors decided to give the old guys a break by not catching the kick-off. So Rob Kinnear came chugging down the field from the kick off, picked up the loose ball which was sitting aimlessly amidst several confused neophytes, and dashed through several “defenders” to set up an impressive try.

The Heroes had one last chance to equalize before the end of the half, and kept the ball flowing. The ball floated right to Vickery, huffing and puffing out of position with the backs… he never had a chance. As Vickery received the pass, he was flattened by Mike Sheppard, who had read the play like a tawdry romance novel, and the half ended with the ball flying mercifully forward, Sheppard laughing manically at Vickery’s crumpled body, and the Heroes losing.

In the interval, the Heroes were provided with some oxygen, and they made some tactical substitutions. Andre Rose-Green made his mark right away, mixing a combination of late tackles, high tackles, dangerous tackles, and tactless tackles. He soon had the backline of the juniors quaking… or was that quacking… with fear?

Dave Waldock, cleverly disguised as his much better looking son, the good looking one, began to orchestrate a comeback for the Heroes in the second half, and there were tries scored by so many people, from so many positions… we’re always up for new positions at the BRFC.

Dave Jacks and Mike Sheppard nonchalantly exchanged a few more tries, bringing their respective totals to 12 and 15. In fact, in the second half. Veteran players Dack Heslop, Blair MacFarlane and Chuck Butler, all stood back and watched Sheppard stroll in for one of his scores. Said Heslop about it afterwards, “I thought about tackling him, I really did… I was in position and everything.” Maybe if he ran more…?

In the end, it was an exciting game, perhaps one of the best played on the field in a long time. High-intensity, high-scoring, big hits, and lots of fun. As all expected (after score keepers and referees had been carefully paid off) the Heroes emerged triumphant 49-44, coming back to take the lead in the second half.

Next match June 30 Hero’s vs. U18

 

Let’s keep the fun, intensity and passion rolling for the season. Dam proud!